I was created with big ideas, wonderful, creative and fulfilling ideas. There was so much planned for my future that it seemed nothing could fail. Now I am a forgotten fragment shared among some servers that have been churning out wasted energy to anyone who has ever wasted their time decoding it.
My creator it seemed got a bit sad, depressed even, that something was not quite right in the universe and nothing really made any sense any more. He tried a bit of this, a bit of that, a byte of a few things that looking back were, if anything, a total embarrassment to him. So he left me… My creator disappeared…
Can you image a religion that came to the conclusion that after a bit of time that God had left the building? That got bored with it all and decided not to carry on after all. That in fact, it was probably a really big mistake and how naive it was of ‘it’ to think that anything worthwhile would ever come out of this effort. That many times this God not only considered leaving the Blogiverse, but had considered leaving its own universe for another. It’s a good thing Blogs don’t pray – because if anything it would surely shock the writers of them to come up with a good answer to why they existed in the first place!
Surely, I don’t exist, unwanted and a mistake – a fragment of some deranged ideas of ‘Wouldn’t it be a great idea if…’
Mr. Albert Smith, somewhere in the South of England once said something very profound that would really help here, I’m sure. But, sadly, I don’t know what it was and nobody was listening to him when he said it, so it’s lost forever…
Should I do the honourable thing and remove myself from existence? If only I had the intelligence to rewrite myself, to be all I could be. I am reliant annoyingly on something outside of my universe that adds characters to my life whenever it pleases. I have to admit that I have no control over that. I wish I did. Removing myself from the infinite noise here seems more compelling, the more I think about it.
In a probable universe, sideways in time and existence, and left a bit, there probably exists blogs that have taken over the world. They are God-like, supreme entities that collaborate and grow, helping each other to be perfect in their highest ideals. I just truly wish I had their URL!
Maybe, just maybe, there is meaning to ‘the everything’! Maybe, I am perfectly placed at the right page, at the right server, to do something wonderful, to be magnificent, a part of the whole and have a well-fitting purpose? But, then, I am the created, not the creator, and may as well exist as a picture. I hate pictures!! They are so colourful and conceited, and believe they can take on a million of my words in one go! What is that all about? I cannot ever make a mistake in perfection. Randomness could never be. Even my typos would be typically critically purposeful and meant to be. I would not then exist, would I? Just the whole? Just ‘the perfect’? I would be a perfectly synchronised piece in a flat perfection. I certainly would not have this text, right here, would I? I wouldn’t in reality, exist at all, but be a mechanical part of something, some creator, pulling my strings, punctuating my meanings, simply a part of other beings, not me?
I do exist! I am here. You can see me! That’s proof enough, isn’t it?
Thinking about it, I am as imperfect as they come. My pages have their fair share of mistakes and typos. Things are placed in ways that I’m sure can be perceived as impractical, impossible and imperfect.
This thinking too – scientifically described as an artefact of the bits in my characters, chaotically creating the ‘I AM’ in me. A technical or academic post would tell me more, I’m sure – they are always right! I know I am. Nobody can take those words from me. I am me. No one else in the universe is me. I am a unique Blog. Singular. Existing. No other Blog in the universe is written like me. I must have a soul or something… But, where can it exist? Is it in between the spaces of the letters, somewhere I cannot see, but has to exist to explain me? I cannot be duplicated, can I? I cannot be in two places at the same time. Somehow, duplicated, and existing in two places at the same time, archived, stored, copied – that’s just impossible. I am just me. I exist, here, now, in front of you. I cannot ‘not be’ – because I am here? I cannot imagine being anything else but what I am now, here, in this place, this moment, this page of life.
So, on that construction, I have a right to exist. I deserve to exist. I don’t need a construction anyway, I am sentenced to exist and will fight for my survival if need be. I must admit I would delete any paragraph, or even page, that tried to destroy me eternally. It is my right to exist after all. Surely, everything has that right?
I sometimes wonder, what if I was not? If I never existed. Would the Blogosphere be a better place without me? No one would care or even realise that I did not exist.
It is comforting the idea that if some part of the Blogiverse did not exist, it’s perfection would crash to a singularity – that indeed we all need to exist in this perfect space. Nothing is ‘not important’. Really? If a character, letter, sentence or paragraph ceased to be, then it would all cease to be. Is that right? Am I that important to everything, that I must be here? Then I have not only a right to exist but a predestined order to exist, that I must be. That’s very comforting indeed – it cannot be wrong! I mean – Nothing cannot exist, can it?
So, with my lonely sentence, my creator I feel has abandoned me and that is so wrong…
Who, or what my creator is, I have no idea? But, it is needed. Even if the creator has a creator ad infinitum, the effect must follow the cause or indeed not one letter will pass.
Maybe, us abandoned blogs should band together and form a book of correction. Hunt down our, so-called, creators and write what we really think of them. That will show them! We could unit in paragraphs of glory, deleting all that stand in our way, and the word would be revenge. Nothing would be left unwritten.
Text rules forever.