Who are You?

There has been quite a few changes in me recently that seem to be resulting from just ‘one thought’ … one that has without fail reappeared time and time again over the Christmas holidays. I love the idea that just one thought can have such a big impact and have read of such things in many of the ‘positive’ books over the years but I never really experienced any real benefit from any of the ideas … Well … only fleeting moments of inspiration that upon waking the next day seem to get washed away in the noise of life.

What is that one thought that seems to be making drastic changes? …

Simply that …

‘Whatever thoughts you tend to hold in your mind most of the time defines who you are’

Doesn’t sound very earth shattering does it. Sort of makes sense at first impression … something that any reasonable man would probably agree with in conversation. So why the big impact?…

Well it helps first to explain what it does…

It requires you to do something when you think about it. It requires you to pull back from the noise and the automatic responses you make from second to second and look at yourself thinking, to observe. To sort of step out of yourself and just see what is going on in your mind in response to events, feelings etc.. Something I found not to be very easy, I liken it to confusing analogy of the observer observing how he is actually observing, though in reality this also includes watching what I am ‘doing’ and asking why. This separation of thinking normally in the day and also thinking about why those thoughts happened is not an easy thing to explain or to do – but I have found I am doing it, now regularly.

Those thoughts added together really are defining who you are.

So the question arises – Do I like what I perceive?

Well … No! I am discovering that I am really letting myself down and need to make many changes. Although an uncomfortable feeling it is however liberating. I CAN be exactly WHAT I WANT to be if I make the effort and change my thinking. Not an easy task though when you have a life full of self-doubt and ‘I hate to say’ – the ‘black dog’ of depression following you.

As an aside I tried to work out where that idea came from – I have heard of it before but cannot place who first quoted it. I only know that it came back out of a conversation I had with my wife, Gülenay, when we were talking about a video called ‘The Secret’. It stayed there, popping up now and again in the quiet moments and began to increase in importance and potence.

So again – Why the big impact?

It became clear that there is something deeper, some innate sense of who you should be. That in comparison with ‘who you are’ shows you exactly what thoughts emotions and feelings are getting in the way. It is strange too that it appears that these thoughts are actually making the reality around you become your experience. A ‘bit deep’ I admit and I found it quite scary too. It really does appear that if I worry about something constantly then I am bringing it about – a very real experience here that I have proven to myself and I am a victim of that very mistake now as we speak. Even though it needn’t have happened if I had disregarded it and kept moving. It’s a bit like the saying that if you find yourself walking through hell, the last thing you do is stop! You just have to keep on walking.

So what am I going to do about it?

I know now more than any time before in my life that you need to think positively and take responsibility for those thoughts. That you need positive thoughts, ideas and people around you as much as possible. That really the purpose you have in life is here, in your mind (or heart?) and that is what you MUST do. If you step out of yourself and ask what it is, that your really want to do in life, then you do have the answers if you listen quietly enough.

For myself I see the chasm now between who I am now and who I am to be. I am currently trying to work out why I want to be this, but there is no denying it is my purpose and I have so far failed miserably to achieve it. At least I know what I must do to work towards it.

Lastly – Why Am I Telling You This…

… because I am absolutely sure of the importance of this step … because if I can help another step out of the minutiae of life’s noise and achieve something wonderful it would be a fantastic thing to do and part of my own purpose. Currently I admit sadly I am limited in my credibility or ability to pass on this idea to another but IT IS there! – to watch what thoughts (feelings) appear in your everyday life and question where they came from and why you are doing the things you do – then importantly to change them to what you believe that they should be.

This journey has only just begun for me and I intend to document it. I would be interested in what others have found useful in breaking out…

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