A point in life you hope always to avoid. You give it no attention, you forget that it exists, but the time comes and you realise you are there. What is the purpose of the low point? What use is the effect of the low point on the soul?
At the low point everything changes, not in reality but in perception.
The black cloud of despair, depression, giving up of life or hope, it surrounds you like a blanket that ultimately tries to suffocate you.
Why does this negativity exist at all? Who really created it? Was it you?
You notice things are different. Everyone appears to lose their esteem of you.
You ask for help if you can but you know it’ll be ignored or misunderstood.
You have fallen, but you are not a child, there is noone to pick yourself up.
Why do these illusions exist? Why does nature’s self preservation principle appear to fail?
So what do you do at the low point? You analyse and think, but not in an effective way.
Everything seems heavy and black. The simplest things become impossible.
The mole hill pretends to be a mountain. But you really know it is only a small mound.
This adds to the failure, this adds to the impression, to the ineffective feelings that come.
Can you make sense of the low point. Mathematically differentiate your life?
You see the negative, then the zero. The low point has been reached.
So isn’t the tendency positive then, now the zero has been reached?
Or hasn’t the function completed? Hasn’t the minima been reached?
So in a perfect universe, where everything has meaning and usefulness.
You see the negative, the guilt, the blame, the nothingness.
So what is the meaning then? Is this real? Is it necessary?
What positive things can come from the low point then?
You try to write, to express and to understand. But it isn’t for anyone to hear.
The low point mystery is nothing but illusion, a failing fantasy of the mind.
It doesn’t really exist unless you hold onto it. A fault in the machine.
The ghost inside experiences maybe the turning off of the engine.
My solemn wish, to remove for evermore, this illusion, this waste.
For every experiencing thing, that ever is, to never experience it no more.
For it is like death, except you are alive to consider it.
My God, it shall be no more…